Favorites much? I am putting my foot down, and I have decided I will take over the family computer. Sounds foolproof, right? Wait…I think that is my mom now! Act casual. English Class. Alright class! Listen up! Everyone get out your pencils. And no throwing them this time! Jane, put that cell phone away! I will not hesitate to take it!
There is barely any left from last time! Jaaasssooon… Jason! I am calling the principal! We need you in the fifth-grade classroom. What do you mean you are busy? Oh well, I hope Mrs. Smith recovers. Those kindergartners should be ashamed for doing that to her. Well, stay safe, and I hope the pencil wound in your arm heals. We are going to see how good you are at finding a new teacher because I quit! I am going to be a janitor! Description: A leprechaun outsmarts someone who has found his pot of gold. Listen, ye squirrely would-be crook…it dunnot work the way ya think.
What they dunnot tell ye is that my gold is buried deep below. And you can go get a shovel. Ya have da right to dig for me treasure. But by the time ye return, who knows where me and me rainbow have buggered off ta. So, run along, ya gombeen. The leprechaun goes back to his work making shoes and sings this song. Do you not catch the tiny clamour, Busy click of an elfin hammer, Voice of the Lepracaun singing shrill As he merrily plies his trade.
The Present. The biggest present ever, like elephant big! Well, maybe not that big but you get what I mean, this thing was giant. This HAD to be an Xbox! I was ready. Ok, so then Christmas day came I woke up extra early and I was ready to get this big new Xbox with new controllers so that I could finally play Fortnite. It was my turn, I reached out and ripped the paper as fast as I could and inside was a box and when I opened that box guess what was inside? Another box! Then a few boxes later I knew I had to be down to the last box. I was surprised it was quite small maybe it is too small to be the Xbox.
I could not believe it was it actually socks. I thought I was getting something better than things that just get smelly. And oh, another thing…they were way too small. And the color was yellow with brown polka dots. My mom and dad looked at me like I should love them. And then I noticed that my brother was starting to laugh. And so were my parents. Can you imagine? How mean can they get? I started to run to my room, and my dad stopped me. But Christmas was ruined already.
So, I went ahead and shoved my hand into one of the socks. It was a gift card for an Xbox. Parents, let this be a lesson to you. Princess Power. And still, I am here. In the tallest tower protected by the most dangerous dragon, wearing yet another pink dress and with the same old hair, only longer. Not really. I mean, when I first got here, I was really scared and lonely. Half the time I talk to myself while the other half I talk to the dragon.
And her name is Fuegina. I shall slay this dragon, rescue the maiden, and rule the kingdom! Gold for me, gold for ME! Thanks dad. But to be honest, some days are not that bad. Sometimes, I just like looking out the window and… wait! Is that a knight coming to rescue me? Here he comes. I can see the greediness in his face. I am so tired of this. Over and over, waiting for a Prince to rescue me. Maybe this is a life lesson. I get it now! We shall fly away!
Forget about knights and kingdoms! Picture Day. By: Rebecca P. Ah picture day. Small pause.tingscotunsynbau.cf/free-enterprise/.pdf
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Okay now that I say it out loud, I see the problem. So, whenever I look at the fridge, I see 5 amazingly beautiful, good pictures and then me in a turtleneck! And on picture day sometimes those bright lights give me a headache! And those weird words like High voice. The only thing I think I like about picture day is seeing all my friends dressed up really pretty with their hair so pretty, wearing dresses, and maybe even sometimes makeup. I Hate Being a Villain. By: Ocean F.
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If anything, Mario is the villain, and who ever said I was the villain is wrong. I only kidnapped Princess Peach because she asked me to. I had a wife and children. Now I get bored just waiting around for Mario to get past that flying level. How is that fair? People adore him and people despise me. And I get so mad when they come out with a new video game with Mario as the front cover. I practically invented video games! And then, you go to a Halloween store you see Mario and Luigi costumes but do you see it any Bowser costumes?
So why should I be one? A New Puppy. By: Lucy S. So, if you were to ask almost any kid if they wanted a new puppy they would probably say yes. Well, if you were to ask me, I would pass. Getting a new dog is such a pain. Listen to this… First off you have to train them a lot and some of them are not very good listeners. If you have a hard time getting used to things, then try getting used to an annoying fluff ball that always does what it wants.
And when they are puppies, they go nuts. They chew on everything and bark when they go into their kennels.
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Also, I love to travel and guess what, I had to say bye bye to that for a while. Well, your parents will say today it is your responsibility to take care of the dog. And then you get mad and then what happens…you have to go to your room. Which is actually fine, because guess what? Homeless Goldilocks. By: Anastasia G. Yeah, I know. I know. You recognize me.
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That was a pretty low point for me, I gotta admit. Never have been. I think of myself as more of an adventurer. Sure, I could get a job and rent a dumpy little apartment, but what would be the fun in that? One time, I went on a tour of the White House, and hid behind the curtains in the Oval office. I stayed up all night reading classified documents.
Another time, I crashed at Buckingham palace while the Queen was out doing some Queenly stuff. I tried on all her crowns. She may or may not be missing one. Everyone thinks that those elves never take a vacation. I got him to tell me the dates…cost me a carrot and I headed on up there. And remember, if you have something cool inside your house, remember to lock up when you leave! The Squirrel Lady. By: Jason R. Betcha never met a talking squirrel before. Well, news flash. We all talk.
A real old lady. And you know what she does?
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She feeds us. Oh, they LOVE to feed the birds. And they buy all these fancy contraptions that prevent us from sharing. And sometimes when we manage to get a little morsel, we get a BB in the butt. But this old lady, she is different. She puts peanuts right on the ground for us. Every day, she does this.
We go to her house and see her at her kitchen table, sipping tea and reading the newspaper. And when we come by, she goes over to this big bag and scoops out fresh, delicious peanuts. She even built a little house on her deck so that our food would not get rained on, and she gave each of us a name.
Squirrels need love too. By: Mia H. U… Sir, what does a u stand for? I worked my butt off doing this! AND I have two detentions!? This is sooo unfair! You treat me so unfairly. But I write interesting stories, almost as good as Harry Potter, if I say so myself, but you still give her a better mark! That is such a lie.
Every single question you ask I put my hand straight up, so I can answer, no one else does, just me! What did I do? The pranks? What pranks? Ooooh, those pranks! But you have to admit those were pretty funny. Remember when I put a whoopie cushion on you chair, you were about to sit on it, but you noticed, and you took it off but then you went to sit down and you pants split, that was… I mean that must have been sooo embarrassing, I feel so bad. But seriously you could have just pranked me back.
Instead of giving me a bad mark for no reason! This is a prank? This…U is a prank? So, you have basically been ignoring me JUST to get me back!? You…pranked me? Pranks are for children! Silica Packet. By: Kyra G. Opens a box of shoes and starts singing. I got some new shoes! Notices a silica gel pack, reads… Silica gel do not eat.
I ate that dirt because I wanted to. Sure, mom was horrified, but let me tell you, it was better than her tuna casserole. Now, back to this little packet issue. Grabs cell phone and punches in random numbers, pauses Hello Carol. I have a problem with one of your shoe boxes pause.
And I just feel as I — Hello? Puts phone down. Picks back up packet. Faces morphs into sour taste face, and then disgust, and then horror, and then spitting out every last bit of the stuff, gagging and choking and eventually recovering. Maybe sometimes there is a reason for the warning labels. Glass Slippers. By: Finn M. I recognize you! When I started out, I was just an ugly pair of ordinary shoes. The kind of shoes people wear to wash clothes or clean out the fireplace.
I was pretty worn out. And then one day, this strange woman appeared. Not a woman, really, more like a fairy. She called herself a Fairy Godmother. So, she comes flying into our room and uses her fairy magic on me. With a few magical words, poof! Crazy, right? She was so excited to try me on. Get this! She took a pumpkin from the field and poofed it into a grand carriage! Anyway, we were swept away to the Royal Ball where my lady danced the night away with a very handsome prince.
We had a wonderful time but I sure was tired out. I must have fallen asleep and missed all the excitement because when I awoke, this scary looking lady was trying to cram her giant foot into me. She was no size five, let me tell you. More like an eleven! It was quite painful but, thankfully, the Prince realized that I did not belong to her.
He found my lady and he slipped me on her delicate foot with no effort. I really sealed that deal because they were married shortly afterward. Punctuation Society. By: Sophie W. Welcome everyone to the Punctuation Society! This is our first, of many weekly meetings. As you may have noticed, Comma is not here. I specifically did not invite her. This is a Comma-free society. Hey that rhymes! Smiles but then frowns again.
She keeps talking on and on and on! When you finally think she is done she just links what she is talking about to something else! It is so annoying. And when I am annoyed, I leave, and everything gets pretty boring. No, ellipsis, we will not be taking a vote! I am the President. I have final say. Parentheses…stop whispering. Do you have something to share with the rest of us? Oh, you like her? She will make it impossible to get anything done. Hey, you in the back, quiet down. Stop shouting! Get out! This is for punctuation marks only! Okay, now, back to business.
No, Period…the meeting is not over. Sit back down. This is exhausting. Space Zoo. First Place Winner! By: Wolfie B. When I was picked up by the spaceship, I was stoked for the adventure of the galaxy! Instead, I found out the only reason the aliens had come to Earth in the first place was to capture a human to take to some kind of intergalactic zoo!
I wish I had never seen that spaceship. First off, the conditions at the zoo are disgusting. My mealtime schedule is totally messed up. They took my watch and all my other possessions away, including my clothing and my cell phone! Apparently, all these items are now on display at an intergalactic museum so other life forms can see how humans live.
When I am awake, the food is inedible. They give me these little pieces of nasty synthetic meat and a small shot of vitamins.
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They just care about costs and profits. This is the lousiest, second-rate zoo in the entire galaxy! Talk about culturally unaware! How do they expect me to live under these conditions?! Fake Friends. Third Place Winner! By: Jessica C. The game went great. All I could hear was the crowd screaming my name. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face, all the eyes staring at me, and the taste of the dry air.
I had to make that basket. Everyone was counting on me. The ball leaves my hand and the crowd gasps and jumps to their feet. The crowd goes wild! My teammates lifted me up over their heads and I felt amazing! At least, I did for a little while until it was all ruined. After the game, I saw Angelica. She talked to me for a few minutes. She told me that I played really well in the game.
I blushed and thanked her. I wanted to talk more but her mom showed up in the car and she had to go. I love everything about her. I have for a long time. I love her silky, brown hair, her beautiful light brown skin, and her eyes. But the thing that I love the most about her is her personality. Beat None of that matters now. See, right after she left, my friend Angel walked over to me. My head was spinning. He never mentioned that he liked her once. He knew how I felt about her and he betrayed me anyway. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
You are not my friend. I thought about it the whole way home. He was never a real friend, just a fake one and I will never trust anyone with my feelings or secrets ever again. By: Nicole N. I am an elf and I need to file a complaint! I work twenty hours a day, seven days a week. He does feed us well, but he makes us do all the cooking. Of course we get holidays off…NOT!!! When I am not making toys, I am either at the mall with Santa, or I am taking care of his reindeer. The biggest concern I have is for my children. Santa really needs to offer some sort education for these kids!
The only thing they know how to do is to make a bouncy ball! Santa has not been good to us elves. HE should be put on the naughty list, for a change! Oh, did I forget to mention it? It is a very dirty job. The Woes of Oregano. By: Kaitlyn J. I am so depressed and I do not think it is fair.
They even got to go to the regional fair! All because they helped make their rosemary plants the healthiest while I lay in the dark cupboard, alone, unused, and with nothing to do. I am much better than Sugar! Technically, Sugar is only used in unhealthy things while I am not.
I should have gone instead of Sugar. Even some of the rosemary plants agreed. I asked the plant that used Cinnamon and he said that his roots burned when he sucked in that Cinnamon water! He said that he wished he had me!! I must! If not, I shall threaten to explode and then no one will ever have Oregano again! By: India M. Jane is a big spender.
Mike likes to read and hates Bob. Bob is very loud. He hates Mike. Joe is very good with money. He bought the tickets to the concert. Fred is very tough and has been to prison. The next morning, everyone wakes up and finds that Mike is dead. They all have excuses. Fred claims to have been napping. Joe says he was buying the tickets and waves the four tickets in the air. Jane claims she was at the mall.
The next day, three people arrive at the concert. Mike is dead and someone else is in prison. Who killed Mike? How do we know? He only bought four tickets. He bought three for his friends and one for himself. He knew that Mike would be dead and would not be in need of a ticket! In Defense of the Grinch. By: Gigi C. Listen up, people. Did the Whos ever once invite him? Did they even care about him before he carved the roast beast? I rest my case. Life of a Tree.
By: Cohen Y. Everyone thinks trees are just living decorations. No, we are much more than that. True, we are used for holidays and special events but, we can also be used for shade and so much more. The real life of a tree is magnificent. We all meet up and talk every night we while you humans are asleep. We take showers in the rain. We also like to read. History books are our favorite, but we also enjoy comedy, fantasy, and tall tales.
It can be very uncomfortable for us! Those metal hooks can really hurt, and then when you take them down, you always forget one. They can get very itchy! But the real problem for us trees, is that you humans our hurting our world. All the coal and chemicals you use smell horrible and are polluting our air. Come on people! Take care of our Earth! Take care of us trees! By: Caroline S. Hey guys! I mean, are you aware of all the different types of grasses? My friend, Bluegrass, is very lush type of grass.
And my cousin, Centipede, is a low maintenance type of grass. All of us different kinds of grass have one big problem in common. Do you know what the problem is? I also hate it when the tiny humans sit on us and tear us out of the ground. That decreases our population! One of the hardest things to get through is the cold season when we all get sick and turn brown. Then it gets even worse! Not another giant human! MOVE out of the way! Let the winds come and move us out of the way! OH, NO! Not again! Come back, wind! Big Dreams.
Second Place Winner! By: Kellen B. When I grow up I want to be a famous astronomer. I will be the most famous astronomer that ever was. Not something like HD B. I just want everybody to know who discovered those planets. Do you know Stephen Hawking? Something that is created is always created with help of something. Take for example, a water bottle. It is physically impossible for something to turn into something it is not. It is simple logic. We are students who want college classes in grade school.
CCGS for short. Wait, I am creating something out of nothing in a way. Maybe Stephen Hawking has a point. Laugh all you want, parents! By: Trequan D. He taped you to the back of his car because his tail-light was out. By: Lauren B. My life sucks. Every single aspect of it. So, first, my best friend and neighbor is not the sharpest tool in the shed, to say the least. I moved into my neighborhood in His lack of intelligence gets in the way of everything, and I have to act dumb with him just to make him feel better.
The only time I have fun with him is when we gang up on our other neighbor. And my job? My job is a living nightmare. I work in an unsanitary kitchen as a cook. My jerk of a neighbor works there, too, and only complains about everything. I pretend to love my job, since I work for less than minimum wage, and my boss would fire me if I even suggested a raise. But all she cares about is doing dumb science experiments, mostly tests on me!
One good thing…I have a pet. And guess what? Even my pet snail hates me. Yeah, pretty sad. Lonely Leprechaun. All I do all night and day is guard this pot of gold. With no one to talk to. No one to share my strawberry jam and cheese sandwiches with. No one to play balloon stomp with. Oh yeah, I get the occasional butterfly or ladybug stopping by, but they only like to talk about flowers, and let me tell you…petunias and daffodils get boring after hundreds of years. If only someone would find this pot of gold. I see them headed straight for me all the time, and then they veer off in the wrong direction.
Here comes another one. Over here! Not over here. Hides behind pot of gold. Whispers and points. No, go that way. That way. Elves on Strike. By: Jeremy K. No more working from sunup to sundown without so much as a snickerdoodle break! What does Santa think we are, robots? Cleaning chocolate poo is not in the elf job description! And Snazzy, there was that time when he ordered you to let Mrs. I mean, what the falalala was he thinking? I mean he makes us wear these ridiculous Pinnocchio outfits and sing while we work, while he sits on his big fat butt watching the weather channel.
And on Christmas day, he takes ALL the credit. Imitating children. Ooooh, look what Santa got me! How did he know I wanted this? We did it all. Santa is just a lazy guy with a wiggly belly who works basically one day a year. Nothing but a gloried delivery man if you ask me! Listens to someone in the audience. Santa is where? Looks behind him. Oh fudgesicles. By: Kielle W. I even memorized the state bird for every place in America!
Birds are so much freer than any person I know. No, I imagine that birds are brave.
I want to feel free. I want to scatter brightly colored feathers for little girls to find in parks. Sparkle up their day a bit. Mostly, I want wings so that I could take flight. Leave behind my problems and soar into the sky. The wind blowing in my hair, the sun shining its beautiful rays down upon me. Sometimes I linger on the ledge, arms spread as wide as an eagle. And I know one step is all it would take for me to finally, truly fly.
One little step but… I never do. I always get scared and go back inside. I just need the courage to take that first step. Perfect Day. By: Jonathan L. One amazingly perfect day. You know, when each piece fits together no matter how difficult the jigsaw puzzle of a day can be. The kind of day when from start to finish things just go that way. Your way. My day would be like this…When I am called on, I know the answer. And as a reward, no homework. When I go to lunch, who has all their favorites at their fingertips? Points to self.
It just gets better and better. Whose name does the coach actually get right? Who kicks a goal? Whose mom is the first in the pick-up line? Whose mom bought a frozen drink and beef jerky! And as I get into the car what happens, but my favorite song comes on! That means the afternoon is mine. Truly mine. And then dinner comes around and whose Dad grilled out and whose sister baked a cake? I never get to pick. Today has already been ruined because when I got downstairs for breakfast, my little brother had eaten the last of my favorite cereal. Maybe my perfect day will happen tomorrow. Just one day every once in a while.
Is that really too much to ask? Big Bad Red. Little Red Riding Hood walks in place pantomiming holding a basket during this monologue. Why do I have to be the one to bring granny a basket of goodies? Truth is, granny is mean as a snake. That crazy old woman made me scrub her floors with a toothbrush and cut her lawn with scissors. Did I mention that her property is two acres? I thought grannies were supposed to give you cookies and presents and kiss your scrapes and scratches. Last year, I broke my leg playing on the swing in her backyard.
I screamed and she came running out the door asking if I was alright. That woman broke my childhood. Here we are. Oh my god. He sees me. What do I do? Looks down at her basket. Looks at the wolf. Hurls the basket at the wolf. I just scared that wolf away! Each beat should have a different action and objective associated with it. This is also the time to edit the monologue if needed. A monologue should only be seconds, and never more than 2 minutes long.
An appropriate length will make memorization faster and allow more time to invest in the depth of performance. Be sure to maintain the story arc when editing with a decisive start and a finish that shows change s in the character. Now you have a short and sweet monologue that is split into beats that have transitions built in between them.
Write out the text by hand the whole way through. Studies show that handwriting boosts retention because it actives more of the brain, connecting fine motor movement with the memory cortex. Handwriting is literally muscle-memory for monologue memorization. Adding locomotion to your memorization efforts connects the words to movement, which will make your performance more fluid and flexible in the end.
One suggestion is to take a walk with your script. As you walk around, quietly recite your monologue beat by beat. Start with the first beat, and when it is memorized add the second beat. This step by step process of memorization forces you to remember the transitions, which are where good acting takes place. After you have the monologue memorized, continue to explore possible objectives and actions.
You can do this by speaking and moving differently during each performance of the monologue. Practice with different volumes, dialects, posture, speed, pauses, etc. Change anything and everything about your performance and observe how it changes the emotional outcome. What I mean is, say the monologue as quickly as you can while playing all transitions and striving for all objectives. This is the ultimate test of understanding through speed. Your brain builds connections through sleep, which is the only way to move your memorization work into your long-term memory bank.
Plan days ahead when memorizing to allow adequate time for your brain to adapt. There are no shortcuts to a perfect monologue performance, but there are easy strategies that actors can implement to expedite the memorization process. Image Source.
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